Thoughts: Perspective

Before I went to Japan, I had so many things planned out. Now, with the cold weather, the lack of motivation, the homesickness, I ask myself, "Where is that person who was so excited to come here three months ago?"
I suppose, once we're in a moment. we rarely have moments of clarity when we can breathe that moment all in. Of course, you cannot keep thinking once you're in a moment exactly,you just live in it.
I seem to be an irony to myself all together, reading quotes aimed for motivation,dreaming, planning AND YET, never going around to doing anything. Lately I have been too great a thinker, and not a doer. I have been worrying too much, and not doing much of anything else.

Then, I thought.
It's all a matter of perspective.

I never even had so many things as I do now. One of the things that I often think about here in Japan is the things I want to buy, do, and such. Thinking about it, it is nice that I am, well, hungry for these things, but, in what perspective do I want them?

And as I sat there, my hair in twists and my body slowly reaching equilibrium with the bath water, I thought, well it's a rather materialistic perspective isn't it. That is to say, it is not really what's important.
Coming here, I wanted to invest in myself, my ability - I wanted to make it one heck of a year. And not being able to buy some things, that won't really take away from my one heck of a year. My constant worrying, budgeting, and tolerating of various things in order to satisfy my inner materialistic demon, it eats me up and makes me unable to sleep. What is important really? What I learn? My travels? My memories? Or the things I can fit into my suitcases and,well a Balikbayan box?

Looking from the right perspective, the answer's pretty clear.